You love your kids more than anything, but sometimes mom life can feel like a never-ending whirlwind of responsibilities, expectations, and mental to-do lists. Between keeping up with schedules, managing the household, and trying to be everything to everyone, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of stress, guilt, and negative thinking.
But what if I told you that mastering your mindset was the first step towards breaking free from the heavy mental load and expectations that have been weighing down your motherhood? When you master your mindset, you’re better able to let go of negative thinking, release unrealistic expectations, and create more space for joy and ease in your motherhood journey.
What does mastering your mindset mean?
Mastering your mindset isn’t about forcing yourself to think positively all the time, pretending problems don’t exist, or that motherhood isn’t challenging (because we all know it is!).
Right now, it might feel like life is happening to you—like you’re constantly reacting to the chaos instead of feeling in control.
And while it’s true that you can’t always change your circumstances (kids will still need snacks every five minutes, the laundry will still pile up, and your to-do list won’t magically complete itself), you can change how you think about it all and this directly impacts how you feel in your everyday life.
Mastering your mindset is all about shifting your perspective and learning to manage your thought process in a way that supports you best.
How Mastering Your Mindset Helps You
Your thoughts shape how you feel as you move through life, and how you feel is what informs the actions you take and in turn, the outcomes that come from those actions.
This means that how you experience life starts with the thoughts you think. This is a key point to understand!
What I’m explaining is rooted in the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) model of psychology, which theorizes that how we feel and behave is influenced by our perception of a situation, or our thoughts about it, not by the situation itself.
So although you can’t necessarily control the dishes piling up in the sink, the laundry that needs to be folded, or the fact that you spend hours each week driving carpool, you can control how you think about these things, which directly affects how you feel.
Mastering your mindset starts with becoming more aware of your thinking, recognizing the thought patterns that are leading to certain negative feelings (like overwhelm, anxiety, resentment) and learning tools for how to shift your thoughts to better support how you’d like to feel instead – happy, calm, grateful, etc.
All of us have the ability to do this, we just don’t realize it. Your mindset is a powerful tool and you can use it to help make your motherhood journey feel balanced and fulfilling, rather than overwhelming and stressful!
Related: “Power of Thought: Master Your Mind to Control Your Life?”
12 Tips for Mastering Your Mindset in Motherhood
Here are 12 tips to start mastering your mindset so you can embrace a more balanced, fulfilling motherhood.
1. Recognize and reframe negative thoughts
We all have that inner voice that whispers, “You’re not doing enough,” or “You should be better at this.” It’s important to catch thoughts like these and challenge them.
Try re-writing the story in your mind by asking yourself if it’s actually true (it’s usually not), and reframing it into something more positive that is also true. Instead of “I’m not doing enough,” try “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
Small shifts in the way you talk to yourself make a big impact over time.
Related: Why You Should Talk To Yourself Like Someone You Love
2. Stop trying to be a “perfect mom”
There’s no such thing as a perfect mom, and trying to be one will only leave you exhausted and burnt out.
Your kids don’t need perfection and they don’t need all of your attention focused on them 24/7. What they really need is a happy, emotionally available parent who enjoys life alongside them!
Furthermore, perfection is an unattainable standard to meet. That’s why it’s much better to strive for progress over perfection in anything you do.
Related: Strive for Progress Not Perfection – If You Want to Succeed in Life
3. Set boundaries around your time and energy
Saying no to things that don’t align with your priorities in a particular season doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you intentional.
If you’re not being intentional with what you allow to have a place in your life, it’s very easy to become overwhelmed and stressed out by a never-ending to-do list. So whether it’s declining an event that drains you or asking for help, set healthy boundaries so you’re able to show up fully where it truly matters.
Related: The Best Way to Get Control Over Your To-Do List Might NOT Be What You Think
4. Let go of mom guilt
Mom guilt sneaks in when you take time for yourself, prioritize your own needs, make mistakes, or simply feel like you’re not measuring up.
Remind yourself that you deserve rest, joy, and self-care just as much as anyone else. In fact, taking care of yourself first and foremost is how you can continue to show up and give your best to those you love. That’s nothing to feel guilty about!
Related: How to Put Yourself First Without Feeling Guilty
5. Focus on what you can control
So much in life is out of our control, and that can be anxiety-provoking. But when you shift your mindset to focus on what you can control—your reactions, your schedule, your priorities—you’ll feel more empowered and less stressed.
6. Practice gratitude daily
Gratitude isn’t just about appreciating the good moments; it’s about training your brain to notice them more often.
Keep a gratitude journal, say one thing you’re thankful for each morning, or simply pause to notice and soak in a sweet moment with your child.
7. Give yourself grace
You wouldn’t criticize a friend the way you criticize yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness you’d show a loved one.
Instead of beating yourself up over a messy house or a rough parenting moment, remind yourself that you’re human—and you’re doing your best.
Related: How to Give Yourself Grace this Holiday Season (and every day)
8. Redefine productivity
We’re often hustling from one task to the next, putting pressure on ourselves to be constantly “doing”, or even feeling like we have to “earn our rest” by crossing things off a list and “being productive”.
But productivity isn’t just about doing and checking tasks off a list. Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is to simply be present in the moment and give yourself permission to rest, play, and recharge.
Related: Hustle Mode: 5 Warning Signs You Need to Slow Down and REST
9. Be mindful of who you spend time with
Your mindset is influenced by the people around you. When you’re in the company of negative people, their negativity will often rub off on you. The opposite is also true, so try to spend time with positive, uplifting people.
Surround yourself with friends, social media accounts, and communities that uplift you and make you feel good about yourself. It’s also a good idea to check in with yourself from time to time on your screen time habits.
10. Adjust expectations for different seasons
We often talk about finding balance in motherhood, and I believe balance is all about creating the right blend that works for you in the season you’re in. That certainly can change, as motherhood isn’t static—it shifts and changes with time.
What feels good in one season may not in another, and that’s okay. Instead of fighting change, embrace it.
Let go of what no longer serves you, and give yourself permission to adapt accordingly.
Related: Mama, You Can’t Do It All: How to Let go of What No Longer Serves You
11. Celebrate small wins
We’re often hyper focused on what we do wrong, but fail to celebrate what we’re doing right. Count all of your wins, no matter how small.
Those small wins add up so start stacking them throughout your day, from the moment you wake up—getting out of the house on time, handling a tantrum with patience, or simply making it through a tough day.
12. Prioritize self-care as a necessity, not a luxury
Recognize that taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury or something you do only when time allows. Self-care is an absolute necessity, especially when you’re a mom.
Whether it’s a five-minute meditation, a short walk, or time to enjoy a hobby, these simple acts of self-care replenish your energy and allow you to show up as your best self.
Related: 60 Simple Acts of Self Care for Busy Moms
Mastering your mindset is a journey…
Mastering your mindset is something you have to continuously work on. It’s a journey, not a one-time fix. But each small step you take to shift your perspective can make a big difference in creating a fulfilling motherhood experience.
You can master how to think in a way that helps you thrive as a mom, and in all aspects of life and you don’t have to do it alone! As a life and mindset coach for moms, this is exactly what I help my clients with each and every day. Check out my current coaching options and reach out with any questions!
Did you like this post? Check out some others along these lines:
Power of Thought: Master Your Mind to Control Your Life?
110 Powerful Positive Affirmations for Moms
How Understanding Growth vs Fixed Mindset Can Transform Your Life
10 Powerful Life Mantras to Be Your Best Self
Carly is a Mindset and Identity Coach for moms and the Creator of The Return to You™ , through which she helps women reclaim the parts of themselves they’ve buried beneath years of expectations, and rediscover who they are beyond “mom”. She also shares practical advice, heartfelt insights, and actionable resources to inspire and support women in motherhood, relationships, wellness, and life through the Little Voice Big Matter blog.
