How to Manage Mom Anxiety (and is it normal?)

Motherhood is a wild, beautiful ride—but let’s be real, it’s not all about adorable baby giggles, bedtime snuggles, and matching family outfits. 

It’s also a rollercoaster of emotions, and many sleepless nights filled with worry and doubts—and, yes, this often leads to ‘mom anxiety’. 

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed and wondering if it’s just you, take a deep breath. You’re certainly not alone, and there are ways to lighten the mental load and deal with mom anxiety.. 

Let’s dive into what exactly mom anxiety is, what causes it, and how you can start managing your mom anxiety one step at a time.

Related: “How to Recover From Mom Burnout“

Is It Normal to Have Anxiety as a Mom?

Short answer: Absolutely, and even as a life and mindset coach for moms, I still experience motherhood anxiety myself.

Just the other morning I woke up feeling very anxious and I wasn’t sure why.  I had a zillion thoughts going through my mind at once.

At first I tried to push them all away and resist the anxiety, as so many of us often do.  We fight against anxiety and even get mad at ourselves for feeling it in the first place.

But then I remembered what I’ve learned about anxiety – it’s just a feeling and it’s part of being human.  Yes, although being a mom often feels like a superhuman feat, at the end of the day, we are all just humans with normal human emotions and reactions.

What Causes Anxiety in Mothers?

Motherhood is an all-encompassing experience that changes just about everything in your life—your schedule, your priorities, your relationship with your partner, your sleep (or lack thereof, especially if you’re a new mom), and even your brain chemistry.  Feeling anxious is often a natural response to these changes. 

Not to mention, as moms, we’re usually the default parent and the ones keeping everything in the household running smoothly for our loved ones. It’s no surprise that for many moms these feelings can manifest as worry about doing things “right”, or anxiety about the future.  

Anxiety and being a mom often go hand in hand, no matter the season of motherhood you’re in or your lifestyle choices.  Working moms might feel pulled in a thousand directions, while stay-at-home moms may wrestle with isolation or the pressure to keep it all together. It’s a lot.

What is Mom Anxiety?

Research shows that mom anxiety is incredibly common.  However, mom anxiety isn’t just about being a little worried now and then–it’s more than that.

Mom anxiety is characterized by that persistent, nagging feeling that you’re not doing enough, that something might go wrong, or that you’re somehow failing. 

If you’re experiencing mom anxiety symptoms, you might be…

• Constantly second-guessing your decisions
• Feeling anxious or overwhelmed by even the smallest tasks
• Having trouble sleeping 
• Experiencing racing thoughts or physical symptoms like a tight chest or rapid heartbeat

Some common causes of mom anxiety include…

• Sleep deprivation (even once we’re past the baby phase we lack sleep because there’s always so much to do and only 24 hours in a day!)
• Hormonal changes (thank you postpartum hormones, menstrual cycles, and perimenopause!)
• Social media (hello doom scrolling those picture-perfect mom influencer accounts)
• Work-life balance (or the lack thereof)
• Fear of the unknown (especially for new moms navigating anxiety about becoming a mother and then postpartum anxiety)

Feelings of anxiety in motherhood can range from mild to severe and, in some cases, may develop into an anxiety disorder.  Therefore, if you think you may be experiencing mom anxiety, it can be helpful to talk to loved ones, other moms, or even a coach, or mental health professional, before it gets out of hand.  

How to Deal with Mom Anxiety

While you might not be able to wave a magic wand and make it disappear, there are ways to manage mom anxiety.

The first step is to recognize that there’s nothing wrong with you.  It’s natural and normal to experience anxiety in life.  

But still we often resist it, react to it, or try to avoid it altogether, and it’s these responses to anxiety that actually create issues for us.  

Think about it–what happens when we resist anxiety?  We get all tense and what that does, of course, is it increases our anxiety.

Or how about when we react to anxiety?  We do all kinds of counterproductive things like rush around in a frenzy, yell at other people, try to control everything, or procrastinate.

And when we try to avoid anxiety altogether?  This is when we find ourselves engaging in unhealthy (and sometimes harmful) behaviors to numb the feeling. 

We might overeat or drink, compulsively scroll social media, obsessively work too much, or binge Netflix every night.  This feels good temporarily, but as soon as we stop actively avoiding those anxious feelings, they creep back up on us!

The alternative solution I want to offer you is to accept anxiety for what it is, a normal human emotion, and then allow yourself to feel it.

The feeling of anxiety will pass–most emotions are felt in the body for no more than 90 seconds.  The better you become at allowing it, the easier it becomes to move through it.

Tips for Coping with Mom Anxiety

Although it’s perfectly natural to feel anxiety in motherhood (and in life in general), you can learn how to deal with anxiety as a mom in a healthy way.  Additionally, there are tools that can help you manage your feelings so you can be less of an anxious mom.  Below are some tips to get started:

1. Acknowledge your feelings

As we learned above, resisting, reacting to, and trying to avoid feelings of anxiety altogether is not helpful.  And pretending you’re fine when you’re not is exhausting!

Instead, allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without judgment. Talk to a trusted friend, your partner, or even talk to yourself.  Sometimes, just saying it out loud can lighten the load.

2.  Write down your thoughts

Oftentimes, just getting the jumble of thoughts out of your head and onto the page will help you feel less anxious!  This is because it’s the thoughts you’re thinking that are leading to the anxious feelings.

Once you weed through your thoughts by writing them down, it usually becomes very apparent which thoughts are the main culprits and oftentimes they don’t even make logical sense and you’re able to let them go altogether.

I suggest trying some stream-of-consciousness journaling and just let the thoughts flow onto the page.

Related: “Types of Journaling: Which Is Best For You?”

3. Describe the feeling of anxiety

In order to help yourself move through the feeling of anxiety, it helps to describe it, very specifically like you’re explaining it to someone who has never experienced it before.  

When I woke up the other day feeling anxious, I had a quickened heartbeat, a heaviness in my chest like it was hard to take deep breaths, and I felt a slight tightening in my throat.  I knew I was experiencing anxiety because this is often what it feels like for me.

What does anxiety feel like for you?  Describe how it feels in your body, exactly where you feel it, and exactly what it feels like.

4. Breathe through it

An effective way to help you move through the emotion of anxiety is to use your breath.  

Practice “belly breathing” by putting your hand on your belly as you breathe.  As you inhale, push your belly out so you can feel it fill up with air and then focus on slowly exhaling out all of the air.  It’s important to remember to inhale deeply into your belly and then sufficiently exhale.

Do this ten times and then notice how you feel afterwards.

5. Prioritize self-care

I know self-care feels like a luxury when you can’t even go to the bathroom alone. But hear me out–taking care of yourself must be non-negotiable. 

Also, self-care can be simple– doesn’t have to involve a lot of time or effort (or money!). Even small acts like drinking your coffee while it’s still hot, going for a quick walk, or allowing yourself to rest on the couch for 20 minutes can work wonders to calm your mind and body, and reduce your feelings of mom anxiety. 

Related: “60 Simple Acts of Self Care for Busy Moms”

6. Limit social media time

Social media can be a double-edged sword. While it’s great for connecting with other moms, it’s also a breeding ground for comparison. Remember, you’re seeing everyone’s highlight reel, not the full picture. 

Set boundaries around your social media use (and screen time in general) and focus on your beautiful real life right in front of you.

Related: “7 Ways to Find Time to Unplug (and Take Back Your Life)”

7. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness might sound trendy, but it’s rooted in science. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or journaling can help you stay present and calm. 

Start small—even five minutes a day can make a difference, and is an effective way to cope with mom anxiety and take care of yourself. (yes, practicing mindfulness IS self-care!)

Related: “The Unique Ways Being Mindful Matters for Moms”

8. Simplify your life

Streamline your routines to reduce overwhelm. Maybe that means meal prepping on Sundays, delegating household chores (even the littlest ones can pitch in), or saying no to commitments that overrun your calendar and don’t align with your priorities. 

Related: “#1 Reason for Mom Overwhelm and How to Fix It”

9. Lean on your people

It’s okay to ask for help. Whether it’s your partner, friends, family, or fellow moms, don’t hesitate to lean on your support network. They want to help—let them!

Remember, you want peace and calm, and that’s really hard to achieve when you’re trying to do it all by yourself.  

10. Seek professional help

Don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional or a coach who can help with mom anxiety.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective way to identify and reframe thought patterns that may be leading to mom anxiety and is used in many therapy practices, including online therapy options.  I also use the principles of CBT in my mindset coaching for moms! 

Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a tool for building strength and future resilience, as you learn new coping mechanisms.

A Gentle Reminder about Mom Anxiety

Motherhood is messy, beautiful, and full of surprises. Embrace the chaos, prioritize your well-being, including your mental health, and enjoy the journey!

Remember, mom anxiety doesn’t define you. It’s just one part of your motherhood journey, and it’s something you can navigate with the right tools and support.

If you could use some personalized help, consider the support of a life and mindset coach (like me!). Click here to learn more about my coaching programs for moms.

Did you like this post?  Check out some others along these lines:

How to Feel Better as an Overwhelmed Mom (Try this 5-minute fix TODAY)

Finding Joy in Motherhood (when it feels too hard)

60 Simple Acts of Self Care for Busy Moms

Need a Break From Life?  9 Creative Ideas for Busy Moms