There is no relationship more important in life than the one you have with yourself. As with any relationship, you must spend time and energy to nurture it and strengthen your bond. Finding ways to connect with yourself every day will help you do just that.
I haven’t always had the strong connection with myself that I have today. For a big chunk of my life, I shied away from it.
Not really knowing how to connect with myself, I found it scary and was unsure I’d like who I’d discover deep within.
So I avoided her a lot of the time.
As a young 20-something woman living in NYC, I busied myself with meeting the expectations of what I thought I should be doing –
I worked at a well-paying 9-5 office job so I could fill my closet with designer jeans and handbags and meet friends for dinner or happy hour drinks after work. I spent countless evenings at the gym trying to stay skinny and weekends were for shopping in Soho with my boyfriend or going to brunches that lasted all day and sometimes into the night…
I had little free time to spend alone. It seemed I’d crafted my life to be just so, making it easier to ignore how unfulfilled and disconnected from myself I really was.
Of course, once I became a mom the pressures and responsibilities of motherhood left little time for self-connection.
And that was ok for a while because being a mom was amazing. I embraced it with my entire being and it filled me up so completely that I thought I’d never need anything more.
In the early days of motherhood, I’d sometimes detect those old feelings of discontent lurking just below the surface, but I’d busy myself with one task or another and push them back down.
Like a lot of moms, I came to derive a large part of my self-worth from being productive. If I had a day with idle time and without a clear plan of what I was going to accomplish, it made me anxious.
It seemed if I wasn’t ticking things off my to-do list, then I felt lost, as I didn’t know how to “just be”.
Looking back, I understand that it was because I wasn’t connected to myself. I never had been…
Friends, if you’re feeling that maybe you’re not connected to yourself, read on to learn how you can tell, 11 ways to connect with yourself every day, and why it’s important.
What does it mean to be connected to yourself?
Being connected to yourself means that you’re attuned to your inner workings and have a solid understanding of your thoughts, wants, desires, and body.
In other words, it means you’re in touch with your own emotional, spiritual, and physical needs, and also honor them in your daily actions. It’s knowing what makes you you.
This sounds simple, but it’s something many of us don’t spend much time on and as I described in relation to myself, it can be challenging and uncomfortable for some of us.
Why is connecting to yourself important?
I wish I would’ve embraced this challenge sooner, as I now know that connecting to yourself is of the utmost importance to ensure that you’re living your life in a way that feels true and honest to who you are inside.
Once you know how to connect with yourself and establish that strong self connection, you will start making choices that align with who you truly are and find that your life flows better, with more calm, ease, and joy.
You stop struggling to be someone you’re not and follow who you are on a deeper level, enjoying the peace of mind that comes from being at one with yourself.
How do you know if you are disconnected from yourself?
Oftentimes, when you’re disconnected from yourself, you will feel a sense of dissatisfaction or emptiness. Even when achieving great things and outwardly earning accomplishments, you will still feel unfulfilled inside.
This is mainly because you don’t know yourself and are living your life in a way that is not aligned with who truly are inside.
I certainly experienced this in my younger years, as I lived a hustle and bustle lifestyle that was completely out of alignment with my need for calm and peace.
How To Connect With Yourself
Below you will find meaningful ideas for how to connect with yourself every day.
1.) Embrace alone time
This probably seems obvious that the best way to connect with yourself is to spend time alone. However, for some of us, spending time alone feels mildly uncomfortable at best, and at worst, downright scary!
But in order to experience true self-connection, we must learn how to embrace alone time and get comfortable with the idea of spending time with our thoughts in those moments of solitude.
2.) Start each day by checking in with yourself
Taking 5-10 minutes to check in with yourself each morning is a simple way to connect with yourself before the rush of your day begins.
I start each day by waking up early before the rest of my family so I can have some undisturbed time for myself and use it to check in with how I’m feeling, observing the thoughts that come into my mind and oftentimes journaling on them as well.
This is usually followed by the rest of my morning routine, but even when I don’t have time for the full routine, I always make sure to give myself a few minutes first thing to check in with myself, as it helps me to feel more grounded, intentional, and productive throughout the rest of the day.
3.) Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is about simply noticing and accepting what is going on in the present moment without judgment. By having this present-moment awareness, you can not only strengthen your connection to the world around you but also the connection you have with yourself.
Simply take a few minutes to pause and focus on the present moment every day. Notice your breath and how you feel in your body.
4.) Pay attention to your feelings
Welcome all feelings and emotions, even the painful ones, and take the time to examine what thoughts are causing them. All of our feelings are directly triggered by the thoughts we have and we each have the ability to choose thoughts that create the feelings we want.
Although allowing ourselves to feel all of our emotions is important, sometimes we may find that our feelings are not serving us in the current moment. When you notice this, try to identify what thought is causing the feeling you don’t want and then try to come up with an alternate thought that will bring about the feeling you want to have instead.
Finding ways to connect with yourself every day helps you tune into your feelings and the more you pay attention to your feelings, the stronger the connection with yourself you will have. It’s all “connected”!
5.) Live out your passions
Finding and doing what makes you feel alive is one of the most powerful ways to connect with yourself.
Sometimes this means living out your purpose or true passions in life, but oftentimes it can be as simple as spending time doing things that light you up, like the hobbies you enjoy.
Oftentimes, we forget to spend time doing those things that make us feel most like ourselves.
6.) Follow your energy
Connect with yourself by noticing what your energy is telling you. Sometimes we feel drawn toward an opportunity, activity, or specific person, and other times, we feel drained by these things.
Notice your energy, follow your curiosity and what lights you up, and limit those things that deplete your energy. When you are following your energy, you will feel your connection with yourself grow.
7.) Practice meditation
There are many apps you can download for guided meditations, affirmations, or meditative music. A meditation practice helps you slow down, clear your mind, and tune out the outside noise so you can tune into and connect with yourself.
8.) Take a silent walk
I love walking outdoors and often pop in my Airpods to listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast, but recently I started leaving my Airpods at home. This is because I realized that if I take a walk in silence, without someone else’s voice in my ear, it is much easier to connect with my own voice.
I often have great moments of clarity, creativity, and highly productive thoughts on my silent walks! This is another great way to connect with yourself every day.
9.) Engage in self-reflection
Engaging in a daily self-reflection practice involves taking time to focus inward and ask yourself important questions about yourself, your life, your goals, habits, and behaviors. It entails taking stock of what’s happening in your life and all that you are doing or not doing to contribute to the outcomes.
Self-reflection will help you understand and connect with yourself on a deeper level, which will lead to more happiness and fulfillment in your life overall. Regular self-reflection is one of the best ways to connect with yourself and is an integral part of your personal growth.
10.) Practice journaling
An easy way to self-reflect is through a journaling practice. A journaling practice entails regularly writing to get your thoughts, feelings, desires, and more, out of your head and onto the page.
There are many types of journaling, but whichever you choose, it is a meaningful way to tap into your innermost thoughts and feelings and connect with yourself every day.
If you need help starting a journaling practice, be sure to download my FREE journaling guide with 50 journaling prompts to help you get started.
11.) Unplug daily
Consider finding time to unplug by turning your phone off or setting it to do not disturb mode during certain times each day. This will help you connect with yourself and how you want to live your life, rather than getting caught up with what other people are doing on social media and other places in the digital world.
Tuning out the digital world that is constantly vying for your attention is often necessary to better connect with yourself.
How do you like to connect with yourself?
Like any relationship, the one you have with yourself takes time to build. It needs to be lovingly and patiently cultivated and it takes work to strengthen and maintain it.
I hope this post has offered you some valuable insight and ideas on how you can connect with yourself in order to nurture this important relationship.
👉🏻If you’re struggling with how to feel more connected to yourself, consider working with me in one-on-one online coaching sessions. I’d love to help you connect with yourself and find more joy and fulfillment in your life. Click here to book a complimentary discovery call to learn more about how I might be able to help.
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Carly is a wife, mom, and former NYC fashion industry executive turned writer and life coach. Through her writings on littlevoicebigmatter.com, she shares practical advice, heartfelt insights, and actionable resources to inspire and support women in motherhood, relationships, wellness, and life. Carly also helps women create better balance in their lives and live with more joy, purpose, and connection every day through her coaching.