Today I’m having a bad day.
I truly hope you all have been finding my blog posts inspirational, motivational, and worthwhile. I hope you read them and feel your mindset shift towards the positive. I try to infuse them with my honest voice, which lately has been full of positivity, curiosity, joy, and excitement.
But, today I’m feeling insecure, lonely, ugly, and unmotivated.
I haven’t washed my hair or shaved my legs in days. I’ve been wearing sweats and workout clothes nonstop for weeks. It’s cold, cloudy, and gloomy outside and it matches my attitude.
I’m feeling like I’m not enough and I’m finding it hard to motivate. The things that normally boost me up are just not working.
Yesterday I was feeling pretty blah too and when the alarm went off at 6am, I opted to stay in bed instead of getting up to exercise and do my morning routine.
So today, I woke up at 6am and got on my Peloton. I did a warm up consisting of super cheery holiday tunes, followed by a fun pop ride with the peppiest of instructors, and then a 10 minute arms burnout.
It sucked. I hated every minute of it.
I didn’t want to be doing it. I just couldn’t get into it today as I watched the clock countdown until the class ended and I could say “I did it”.
Then after getting the kids off to school, I took a walk around the neighborhood. The fresh air filling my lungs always helps to clear my head and elevate my mood. But it was cold out so I cut my walk short and opted to come home and sit in my favorite spot on the couch to read a motivational book.
I chose, “Girl, Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis. I’ve been finding this book really inspiring. Rachel herself inspires me and I often listen to her podcast for direction and ideas on how to better myself and make positive changes in my life. She’s a huge proponent of the morning routine, and gave me the motivation to start one of my own.
But today, even Rachel couldn’t give me a pep talk. I needed something more than my go-to happiness hacks.
So I turned to something else I often use when I’m feeling down. It’s the best tool I know to process what is going on in my head, to let my insides come out.
Find your healthy outlet
Writing is my tried and true tool for understanding & communicating with myself.
I think everyone needs an outlet that allows their inner persona to come through. Everyone needs their “art” in a sense.
Through writing, I can self-reflect to figure out what it is I’m actually feeling and what I need to do to help myself. I often don’t even know what it is that’s bothering me until I start writing it down.
Before they come out on the page, my thoughts and emotions are just swirling around in my head with nowhere to go. This creates anxiety and negativity inside.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you’ve gotta let the negativity out one way or another. It’s going to eventually come out, so why not find a tool that allows you to work through it in a healthy way, rather than allowing it to fester inside of you until it manifests in an unhealthy way?
So instead of wallowing in my blah today, I decided to write in hopes of working through what I’m feeling.
I learned that I’m feeling insecure because I’m unsure about the direction of my blog. Do people like it? Am I a good writer? Do I have anything worthwhile to share?
Celebrate your wins
I was able to remind myself that my blog is an infant. I only started this just shy of 2 months ago. I’m still figuring out it’s direction and I’ve learned so much about blogging, building a website, growing website traffic, and social media marketing. These are all great skills that I didn’t have a year ago and can continue to cultivate.
Whether people like my content or think I’m a good writer is going to vary. At the end of the day, I am doing this for myself first and foremost with the intention of creating positive change in my life, and the secondary motivation of inspiring others to do the same.
Hopefully, what I’m putting out into the world resonates with some of you still reading!
Give yourself grace
I must give myself grace and remind myself that everything will continue to evolve over time and that’s ok. I’m not going to hit it out of the ball park on the first shot.
I also hashed out that I’m feeling lonely because I feel lonely every winter when I tend to go into my cave and hibernate. I hate the cold! But I have a date night with the hubby coming up and a lunch date with a friend this weekend, so I’m going to try to focus on that.
Bring your mind back to the positive
It’s so important to try to bring your mind back to the positive. A way I try to do this is by keeping a gratitude journal. When I’m feeling down, I can go back and read through all of the positive things I’ve written down about what is good in my life.
I’ve also been using this gratitude app, so sometimes instead of writing them down, I just pop my daily gratitude into the app and it’s always there on my phone to refer back to. The app gives me positive affirmations and daily motivational quotes as well.
Dress for success
Through writing today, I learned that I was feeling ugly because I haven’t put on a stitch of makeup in days and my hair has been in a dirty ponytail all week.
I know all the stuff about how my looks don’t define me and I wholeheartedly agree, but sometimes how you feel on the outside can contribute to how you feel on the inside. Currently, I’m feeling disheveled on the outside and thus messy on the inside too.
Right or wrong, I’ve realized that when I feel good about my outward appearance, it helps to boost my inner confidence. It’s the same logic as the “dress for success” mentality.
Embrace the suck
The reality is that we’re all going to have our off days here and there and sometimes our hacks that normally make us feel better, just don’t work. It’s a problem when the bad days become your norm, and you should consider seeking additional help if that’s the case.
But if you’re like me and you just feel down every so often, I think you have to accept that it’s part of being human. We have a wide range of emotions and sometimes embracing the suck makes us stronger and helps us appreciate the good times that much more.
“You are not supposed to be happy all the time. Life hurts and it’s hard. Not because you’re doing it wrong, but because it hurts for everybody. Don’t avoid the pain. You need it. It’s meant for you. Be still with it, let it come, let it go, let it leave you with the fuel you’ll burn to get your work done on this earth.”-Glennon Doyle, Author
I guess there are some times that you just gotta crawl back into bed with the thought that “the sun will come out tomorrow”.
Just maybe not literal sun for everyone, because you know, it’s December here on the east coast.
What are your go-to happiness hacks when you’re having a bad day?
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Carly is a wife, mom, and former NYC fashion industry executive turned writer and life coach. Through her writings on littlevoicebigmatter.com, she shares practical advice, heartfelt insights, and actionable resources to inspire and support women in motherhood, relationships, wellness, and life. Carly also helps women create better balance in their lives and live with more joy, purpose, and connection every day through her coaching.